‘Melbourne trip’ day dawned like a typical Brisbane morning. Clear bright skies, sun shining, not a cloud to be seen and a chilly 14C. I woke before my alarm, post a healthy 4hr slumber and made the trip to the airport. I had pre-booked and paid for my parking with BAP (Brisbane Airport Parking), and after getting a discount voucher from their facebook page, paid a paltry $9, including the free airport transfer’s. That would have been awesome, except I paid on my credit card which I cancelled after the great iPhone incident of 2017 and access to the car park requires validation with the credit card used to purchase. Ugh. My fault entirely – I should have called BAP and discussed options prior to arriving on their doorstep!
Brisbane Airport
I don’t mind airports and I do like to watch the people. I’m flying Tigerair to Melbourne and being me, I’m 2.5hours early because I don’t cope with being late. The flight is a bit over two hours, so budget airlines work for me. Although I am quite tall, with really long legs (honest), I can sit in relative comfort on any carrier so Tiger works for me. I don’t have any checked baggage, thankfully, because the self-check-in computers have broken so its back to the old way of lining up and speaking to a person.
Broken computer’s are OK, these things happen, that’s the way it is with technology. It is really quite problematic when it happens at this time of the day though as I wasn’t caffeinated prior to doing the manual check-in. I had to speak to people. My fellow travellers who had taken place in line with me were being entirely inappropriate, passing decisive comments such as ‘good morning’? Yes, Mr ‘Bright and Bubbly, hot as hell tradie’, it MAY be morning, but it is far to early to deduce if it is in fact a ‘good’ morning. It may not be a ‘good’ morning, or it might, or it might not be for me, or it might not be for you if you dont stop smiling and talking to me. I need coffee.
And Ms ‘lady in a floral skirt and tan blouse’ with your ridiculously invasive ‘how are you today?’ – what’s with the Spanish Inquisition lady? Really? Do I look like a roguish criminal who is about to crash-tackle you for your gorgeous Prada handbag? Why so invasive? Back off!! Do I look like a person who is adequately caffeinated and equiped to ‘people’?? But that is an awfully nice looking handbag……
This is how a caffeine addict reacts, pre-caffeine, when forced to interact with ‘people’. This cant be legal, surely? Is there a law stating I MUST interact with people in a polite and civilised manner, before caffeine? I think I need a policy job so I can draft legislation reflecting the utter absurdity of requiring a caffeine addict to interact and ‘people’, prior to adequate caffeination. It could be a matter of public safety, at the very least.
Caffeine
Nectar of the Gods – Juice of People and Humanity
I’ve now made my way to the ‘food court’ and purchased myself some ‘people and humanity’ juice. A big cup, with a triple shot. This should tide me over until I reach my destination. I think I will be able to board the aircraft and travel, in a relatively civilised manner, to Melbourne. Ive hurried my face in my iPad, because it is less likely that ‘people’ will want to ‘people’ with me, I can pretend I need to look at the keyboard while I type and also avoid ‘people’ this way. The lengths I will go to…. I am excited, although to the casual passer-by, my excitement could rival Hannah Gadsby’s chipper carriage. Melbourne. Its going to be a great afternoon and wonderful evening and I’m totally stoked, but just wish I was able to stay for longer. It is Melbourne, after all.
40 minutes until I board. Best I head to my gate. I just don’t cope with being late, even with semi-adequate caffination…..
Disclaimer: I abhor violence, with or without caffeine. No ‘people’ were harmed in the contemplation of or composition of this blog post
The Story of Anni 